It happens to most of us regularly. If we are having a recurrent issue with someone then probably a deeper level of understanding of the situation is required. However if we get angry with people often, then it's important for us to work on ourselves. In his best-seller The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Dr Stephen Covey talks about the problem not being out there, but rather something we can change in our attitude or behaviour.
From my experience interacting with people on a daily basis as well as the countless books and articles I've read, we have problems with people because we cannot communicate properly with them. The main culprit is a lack of genuine listening and understanding of the other person.
If the other person we are interacting with keeps talking endlessly in a way we do not get an opportunity to express our point of view, then the ideal response we can take is to listen to him or her trying to see his or her of point of view. Doing that will not only generate respect to our speaker for us but will also make the latter think we truly care.
At this point, the person will become more open to the idea of listening to us therefore improving the quality of the communication and most probably getting the outcome we want. That's the first part.
The second part just as important is the ability to express ourselves. So many times I've seen people who start calmly explaining their issue to a Customer Representative for example, and little by little one could see the growing frustration and the person rising his or her voice.
I did witness one occasion like that whereby the representative was listening to the man who kept shouting out the same points over and over again. Frustrated, he wanted to express more of his negative experience with a product but he clearly was limited in his vocabulary, repeating the same thing over and over again..
From my point of view, this person was not used talking and having opportunities expressing himself verbally or in written. Countless of times the same thing happened to me before I proactively started working on my social skills. I remember a time when I went to a shop to buy a particular item but finally bought another one which I did not need because I couldn't really explain my need and the salesperson just wanted to sell something.
Therefore it lies in our best self interest to take initiative and improve our listening and speaking skills resulting in an increased quality of life. Consciously listen to people speaking and speak your mind out, either with friends or even alone why not. The end result is to make those skills second nature.
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